Omega 35 is a space adventure about people who hate each other and make criminal deals. When I first watched it, I was very frightened and confused. Characters mumbled rapidly to each other as major events happened off screen between inexplicable reversals of fortune. But then I watched it again, studied a late draft of the script that I happened to have, and watched The Making of Omega 35. Now I think I have an idea of what this movie is about (spoiler alert):

A prisoner named Vegas (Ray Eddy) is being transported to some kind of detention facility. His friend Evi (Joanna Eliza Stevens) flies in and risks her life to save him. But it turns out she only wants him to lead her to something called "kolemite cells" and then he's going right back to prison. This kolemite is presumably stolen property, but who the fuck knows. The Warden (Byron West) gives chase and they kill a bunch of his pilots in an aerial dogfight before they completely escape. After they're in the clear, they kiss while repairing some extraneous equipment and everything is okay. But then we see Vegas in a cargo hold by himself and he pushes a button. Wha? Surely this will be important later. Evi comes in and hugs him, and he starts being judgmental about her plans, suggesting that whoever she sells the kolemite to will use it for evil. She goes on the 80's space internet and discovers that he was in the Battle of Omega 35. This immediately makes Evi see Vegas in a sympathetic light, but he doesn't want to talk about it. God, when will these two get it together?! When they finally arrive at the abandoned orbital station where Vegas has stashed the kolemite, he reveals at the last second that it's a trap, and he has in fact cut a deal with Warden to sell her out. But I guess now he feels bad about it. They crash land on the station and engage Warden and his men in a firefight. The chase leads into a massive storage chamber full of explosive kolemite where Evi is wounded by a sniper (?!). Just as he has the two fugitives cornered, Warden orders his men to retreat with him back to the hangar and stand around. Meanwhile, Vegas volunteers to stay behind, blow the entire supply of kolemite, and decimate the station so that Evi can safely escape its impenetrable defense system in her mini fighter. He then kills everybody and blows up the station (in that order), suiciding himself in the process, and the movie ends with Evi flying off into the starscape.

I like this movie, but I feel that it is brought down mainly by three categories of things: things that are fake, things that happen off screen, and things that are never explained.

THINGS THAT ARE FAKE:

- The fistfighting looks great, but there are no punching sounds, so it doesn't feel real. Dastolis should've laid down punching sounds the way they usually lay down footstep sounds -- compulsively.

- Joanna Eliza Stevens is surprisingly good for someone who was hired at the last second with no prep time, although she consequently also kinda looks like she doesn't belong there. This makes her not the worst Dastoli Digital leading lady, but also not the best.

THINGS THAT HAPPEN OFF SCREEN (in approximate chronological order):

- Vegas and Evi's entire relationship.

- The Battle of Omega 35.

- Vegas making his deal with the Warden.

THINGS THAT ARE NEVER EXPLAINED:

- When exactly did Vegas cut his deal with the Warden? Before or after the prison break? Before doesn't make sense, because people were killed trying to bring Vegas back (although it would explain the fake fistfight). I guess it would be after. Which means that Vegas would have been able to somehow communicate with the Warden from Evi's ship without her ever knowing about it and without the Warden being able to trace his location (the script reveals that the mysterious button pushed by Vegas in the cargo hold is in fact a homing beacon). But more importantly, what could the deal possibly have been? If Vegas goes free, Warden gets Evi? What does Warden give a shit about Evi?

- Did Vegas and Evi have sex between the engine room kissing scene and the cargo hold judgmental scene? If so, there can be a sequel with their child, Vegas Jr.

- What is the significance of the Battle of Omega 35? Why does this make Evi react the way she does? What's interesting is that the only thing in the movie that wasn't in the version of the script I had was the sequence where Evi looks up the battle and confronts Vegas about it. This script has no mention of the battle. My brother confirms that this was indeed only added during the reshoots mentioned in The Making of Omega 35. I guess the real question is not what the significance of this battle is, but whether Dastolis even bothered to come up with one.

- When Evi is injured and Vegas is attending to her, why does the Warden retreat to the hangar? All this does is give the fugitives an opportunity to regroup and set a big bomb in the elevator [that kills all the Warden's men]. The text of the script implies that the Warden is afraid of the kolemite exploding if he tries to arrest Evi and Vegas right then. But it doesn't say anything about why his plan of blindly standing around in the hangar is any less retarded.

- What is kolemite?

- Why does Vegas have to die at the end? What the hell does he do to blow the kolemite cells that couldn't have been done remotely from the fighter, or set to a timer, or by simply firing a missile at the kolemite from afar? Did he just want to die? This movie should've ended with the exact closing shot of Another Way Home (with 80's style full frontal nudity).

All that said, I do rather enjoy Omega 35. The production design and visual effects are as beautiful as Jacci Herman on a summer's day. And the movie seems to take place in the 1980's, which fucking rocks! This is what links the two seemingly disconnected Dastoli capstones (That's the Name of That Tune and Omega 35) -- they are both period pieces.

Here is what the Dastolis have to say about Omega 35:

ROBERT:

"It's interesting how there are specific shots in Omega 35 that we had thought of six years prior when gearing up for a big Star Wars fanfilm that was never really made."

JAMES:

"We were stupid enough to waste a year of our lives making a feature into a short. Now we have to live with the knowledge that the film is not what it should be and will never go anywhere because of that."

James, you say that about all your movies. But if you ever make an Omega 35 feature, allow me to recommend three things:

1. Show the characters having sex so it's not just a whole movie of people scowling and slapping each other.

2. Just make it the sequel to this starring Vegas Jr. and his love interest, Jacci Herman.

3. Use Phillip Chernyak's title suggestion (seen in The Making of Omega 35) and call it Space Lasers.