Respectable Employ is the third of James and Robert Dastoli's five Star Wars fanfilms. Their first fanfilm had a great simple story that was devastated by a missing climax, and their second fanfilm was commercials. Commercials.

As this one opens, a text scroll sets us up for a thrilling tale of rebellious smuggling set before the backdrop of the original Star Wars trilogy. We then meet our hero, Deak Ross, played effortlessly by James Dastoli. Within minutes we sadly discover that the Dastolis have still not figured out how to properly edit, which is something that they themselves would loudly point out to you if you were watching it with them in the room (see my review for The Drop Off). Deak Ross flies through space and lands on a cool-looking planet, then walks up to a building and is granted entrance by a robot named M3NO (Mike Meno). The robot lets him in and he meets with a big shot named Cuth'Ra, played unconvincingly by Donny Copeland, whose terrible acting is only more evident next to James Dastoli, who cannot help but sound natural in everything he says. However, Copeland's weird hair does make him appear more alien-like, and I suppose that his disgusting acting skills could be construed as a unique series of inflections from the alien language of his homeland. This certainly fits the pattern of Dastolis' previous experimentations with international linguistics (see my review of Smiert Spionam).

Cuth'Ra gives Deak Ross an object and offers him a sizeable sum to deliver it to some guy named Yanic. Deak Ross takes the deal and sets off to make the delivery, but not without difficulty. When he's on the subway, he gets tailed by an Imperial agent who tries to arrest him. Deak Ross is, after all, breaking the law by smuggling things for the Rebel Alliance, even if he's not aware of it at the time. Deak Ross responds by killing the Imperial agent. He then completes the delivery and collects his fee from Yanic, played competently by Jake Nabel.

It's a decent story on paper, with some entertaining gunplay between Deak Ross and the Imperial agent, but a few things kinda stuck out at me as I watched.

- M3NO moves his arms for no reason when he talks. Why did Dastolis do this? Robots are the last people who would exhibit unnecessary movement of any kind, because they are cold and logical. I can only assume this was some kind of homage to Mike Meno's real life speech mannerisms.

- Cuth'Ra pays Deak Ross 20 grand to make this delivery, so you'd think it would be an amazing space mission. But all he does is take the subway. What about that gigantic spaceship he was flying around in at the beginning? You mean he doesn't even have to leave the fucking planet? Does Cuth'Ra enjoy throwing his money away? There was a commercial for a god damn courier service in the Imperial Center Infomercial Channel!

- Deak Ross is kind of an odd hero. When he is placed under arrest by an armed man, Deak Ross punches him in the face, kills him, and goes through his pockets to find out who he is, even though he identified himself as an Imperial agent when he walked up to him. This poor Imperial agent who was only doing his job. I assume Deak Ross has never been pulled over for speeding. Then, when he finds out that he's just carried out a mission for the Rebel Alliance, he acts surprised and expresses his interest in staying neutral. HE KNOWS CUTH'RA IS A WEAPONS SMUGGLER FOR THE REBEL ALLIANCE. WHY DOES HE ACT SURPRISED? HE KILLS STRANGE MEN WITHOUT DELIBERATION OR REGRET. WHY IS HE INTERESTED IN STAYING NEUTRAL? SO, PRETTY MUCH WHEN I SAY "ODD HERO," I MEAN IDIOT.

- At the end, when asked how he will be enjoying his money, Deak Ross says, "Let's just say I got some old debts to pay off." What? What is he talking about? This is never again referenced in the entire canon of Dastoli Digital.

Probably my favorite part of this movie is right after Deak Ross takes the deal from Cuth'Ra. Before he gets on the subway, he slowly walks through the streets of Coruscant for a minute and a half. I'm sure the point of this was to experiment with different effects techniques, but for me it is a treasured Dastoli Digital pastime; the following around of the main character as he walks through rooms and locales for an extended period before the next relevant scene. Naturally, it stopped happening as they gathered more editing experience, but this is something I strongly suggest the Dastolis bring back to their films. Although I have a feeling this is a request that's going to go right into their special archive, where they keep my scripts for Bottom Floor 1.5 and Errand Boys II.

Here is what the Dastolis have to say about Respectable Employ:

JAMES:

"We were so proud that Respectable Employ was completed in only six and a half weeks. We proved that the delays in Smiert Spionam, Crossing of Fate and Divination were not inherent in the process."

ROBERT:

"One of the things that really got us excited about Respectable Employ were those Coruscant exterior shots that were a combination of live action and CG/compositing. It was really the first time we did that, as almost all of the work in Crossing of Fate and Every Man Has His Price was either entirely CG or entirely bluescreen."

This passion for efficiency and technological breakthrough would fuel the Dastoli Digital machine for the rest of their days.